Who am I?

So its in the middle of the day, and I'm blogging... which is super uncommon for me. (Yall know I normally blog 3am and later lol) But I'm sitting here, getting ready to start my day and I realized... I really suck right now. Have you ever examined your life and just did not like what you saw? Not physically, but yourself over all. I look in the mirror sometimes and don't even recognize myself. I've acquired some characteristics that I just can't stand. I'm only 21 and have made a huge mess. Its hard to admit, but I have to be honest with myself, and I hope this helps someone else to be honest with themselves as well.. same situation or not. ( WHEW! HUGE run on sentence lol) They say the truth hurts and babyyyyy, they aint NEVER lied 'cause I am hur-ting! Its hard to look at all of the mistakes you've made and not want to cry. I realize that my pride has been a huge hindrance in me dealing with my issues. Afraid of how people (mainly those closest to me) would view me if they knew the truth. But I am no where near perfect and would hate to deceive anyone. Paige got issues... just like everybody else! However, the season I'm in now is forcing me to handle my issues. I couldn't understand why I was here so long, but now, I know that this is why. ---

I'm stepping down off my pedestal and realizing that I messed up... bad! However, God is still greater than any mess I get myself into. I choose to lift Him up, and not my problems. I will magnify His name, and not how much I suck. I will speak life into this situation and I will watch Him turn it around.


No more lying, no more laziness, no more being stagnant, no more living by my own will, no more letting my flesh run my life. I am a Kingdom citizen... a child of God, just here on earth for a lil' while =) ... In the world, but not of it. THIS is who I'll see when I look in the mirror from now on =) ..Someone who doesn't take any more of Satan crap. He's under me and already defeated. I know who I am... I am ROYALTY

I know that the best is yet to come. I don't know is how, but I trust God. There is obviously still purpose for my life if I'm still here. The same goes for you. I know I am so unworthy of all that He does, but as long as I'm here, I will bless Him. Whether favor stops now, whether blessings stopped yesterday, and whether he never does ANOTHER thing for me. He's already done more than enough.  He has been EVERYTHING I've needed Him to be.. and SO much more. Its pretty amazing,.. HE's pretty amazing. (#Sigh... and the tears start again).

So.. lol I think I'm done.. ??? We'll see, y'all know how THIS goes.. might add more later, might not. I know one thing.. It WILL be spirit led. =) Love y'all!

Signed,

PAIGE NICOLETTE WRIGHT =) nothing more, nothing less.. just me ♥






*After the truth stops hurting... its feels AMAZING! Kind of like a scab healing* ♥

I was just thinking...

Regretting gets you nowhere, while learning to make the most of your current situation is a beautiful new beginning. =) Even though you may not like where you are now, you have to trust that things WILL get better. Ask God how to move forward from where you are now, instead of trying to change things that have already come and gone. Before you know it... today will be yesterday. So let's make you  proud of you. =) The best is yet to come and I'm excited! #MirrorTalk =) 

Signed, 

Embracing my now, in order to get to my next. 

Pulling up the root...

So remember in my "Sometimes, I'm My Own Worst Enemy" post I talked about analyzing your situation and pulling up the issues from the root... well.. I'VE FOUND ONE! I'm currently trying to go a little deeper to make sure I've gotten it all, but I will definitely blog about this later.. and its gonna be good. #trustme You DON'T wanna miss it! ;)

Until next time,
Going Through My Garden

Learning To Be Submissive...

Ever spent time worry about something you had no business worrying about? I mean WORRYING! Crying about, thinking about.. even dreaming about? I'm sure you have. That's the place I'm just leaving. This certain issue was so different than any other though. I'd never worried about anything as much as this particular issue ever before. I let it consume all my thought life and time. It was to the point I was (I'm going to say it) semi- depressed. I couldn't even pray myself out of it. I wasn't eating (spiritually) and seldom found time to pray. And when I was praying, it was for the wrong things. Ultimately, I had to come home (back to Detroit) for the summer and was MADDDD about it! I mean I was a BRAT about the whole thing. "What about Church?!" (was in ministry) "What about my CD?!" (I was just getting ready to begin work on my debut album) "What about this--What about that?!" I just would not let go. I was so caught up in the whole idea of "missing out" on something... when ironically, that's what I was doing... Missing out on what God was trying to do. I was in a place of transition. God was trying to move me to a new place, but I liked how the old place looked and how comfortable I had become. I'd become complacent. Not realizing that the next place He had lined up for me would give me everything I'd been missing and asking for... A FRESH START. I kept expecting the worst to come from this transition, yet I've only been seeing the great. Now, I can't lie and say its all been butterflies and rainbows, because it hasn't. I've been experiencing new challenges, but nothing Him and I can't handle together. However, I do know that its all going to be for my good. 

Again, its funny how when your in a situation and you pray about it, sometimes even your prayers become a little biased. For instance, while dealing with whole situation, I kept speaking, "All things work together for the good--- ect" (You know the rest. If not, go read it in Romans 8) but I wasn't looking at it from every angle. Its very important to pray (In the spirit.. especially if you were as weak as I was and didn't even know where to start) and remove your self from the situation and analyze it from every angle. This move was the fresh start I'd been praying for but was too spiritually numb to realize it. One thing I realized about myself after this whole situation is that I often let my emotions get the best of me. I get so caught up in it, that level headedness goes out of the window and I act off how I feel. Its even in my speech, "I just FEEL like this is where I need to be...I just FEEL like I've already built such a life here, that to go back would be regressive on my part" Ummm Paige (and whoever else is reading this) sorry to say, but GOD IS NOT A FEELING. I am so glad God gave me insight on the whole situation. Now I know where I made all my mistakes. I am excited, not anxious, to do things right the next time (which ultimately, is now). 

This blog is unlike any other I've written because I didn't know where it was going to go. I want to end on this. God knows whats best. Ever since I've been back home, so much has just been falling into my lap. I got a new car, ministry opportunities, been doing better in college this semester than any other thus far and I'm going on my senior year. This is just the tip of it. I've only been home for three weeks, Imagine what He can do with the rest of my summer. (Also, want to make clear that I am in no way bragging. Just trying to share some of the blessings he had aligned for me when I finally submitted to Him). Again, I can't lie and say everything is perfect, because its still far from it. However, the progress my life has been making is matchless to any other experience. He is now pulling other things out of me, which doesn't always feel good, but remember, its not all about your emotions. I'm learning a HECK of a lot about submission and what it means to be submissive (He MUST be getting me ready for my MOG! Hallelujah! smh lol---anyway) This process has been so strenuous but I know it will be worth it and it will work out for my good. God will get the glory. I'm telling yall... If there is ANYTHING I want to give to God, it is the GLORY. He's brought me through so much already, that I'd be a fool not too. Its not by my own will that I am who I am and have what I have, but all the glory belongs to God. My only hope is that He sees my heart, which only wants to please Him. --- I think I'm done, but might add more later.

God bless you ALL! Love you and don't forget to let His light SHINE, in everything you do. Don't conform, stand out.. He deserves THAT much.

Signed,

Learning to be submissive 

SNACK TIME! Jeremiah 29:11 (He got chu boo! Let Him do His job!) James 4:7 (if you submit 100% to God.. to leaves no room for the devil to occupy) 

CONSISTENCY!.. Where ARE you???

Hello my Bright Lights! I hope all is well. I am here to touch on an issue that I didn't even acknowledge as an issue until... ehhh, about 4am last night. CONSISTENCY. **Jumping right into it** I don't even know when the wishy-washiness (in lack of better terms) crept in, but boyyyy did he take ROOT! I mean alll over, too! Starting with the thoughts then trickling down into my words and actions. I refuse to let it stay another day though. THATS FOR SURE. Okay, let me back up a little..... 

I don't know WHAT triggered the reflective mode I was in (actually, I do but would much rather save it for another date and time lol) but I sure as heck did not want to stop once it'd started. I was just thinking about my life in general and saw a lot of areas that were going in circles. From financially stable......to financial instability. From walking in deliverance......to getting lost outside of deliverance. From controlled emotions..... to emotionally cute.. you know, when its all held together nicely on the outside, but on the inside theres an typhoon of emotions driving you INSANE! Yep.. been there and still doing it all. When will it end?? I'll tell you when.. *Looks at Calender* It ends RIGHT NOW. June 3, 2011. I will no longer allow Luke (AKA, lukewarm-ness lol) to make his self comfortable in my personal space. Connie (AKA, Consistency lol) has taken his place and will be me and him from here on out. HOW? I'm so glad you asked that. Honestly, I'm not 100% sure how. But one thing I DO know is what NOT to do. If I'm struggling financially, I will tithe, sow and save BEFORE I go shopping. If I'm struggling with *searches for something random* fornication (which I'm not #TeamVirgin #TeamINeedARingBeforeWeDoThatThing) then I know not to be alone with Jimmy after 9pm. Get my drift?? 

****ACTION****Faith without works is dead, SO! Write this down. 

STEP ONE: Learn from your mistakes.- Critically analyze your situation/ area of inconsistency and think of (and when I say think of, I mean pray, ask and LISTEN lol) ways to combat those inconsistent traits. For example: *searches for another random issue* If my inconsistency is in my emotions then I'll ask God how how to become more emotionally stable. Simple? I Know! lol He might (don't put Him in a box! He'll tear that boy RIGHT UP!) lead you to a scripture or just straight up tell you what you need to do. You have to make time to listen though. Think about this.. Would you ask your mother for some cookies then walk away before she answers? NO, right?! Because you want those cookies lol Don't do that with God. When you come to Him with a request, make time to hear what He has to say in return.

STEP TWO: Make a conscious effort to live out those directions God gave you.- If He suggested (Ha... suggest.. God?? More like a command, right? lol anyway..) that you journal to help with those shaky emotions, then OMG! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! Take out that notebook/journal and WRITE! (Tadaaaa! This blog was actually an instruction by Him. ^__^ I'll tell you why in another post.. #staytuned) When you feel like killing your brother... write down how you feel and pray for peace and whatever else you might need. 

STEP THREE: One moment at a time.- One thing I've learned about MY inconsistency is it flips super fast! Lets take music for instance. A couple of hours ago, I had the house to myself and during those times, I always worship. So I'm singing "You are Awesome in this Place".. Next thing I know, I'm singing "Kissing You/So In Love" by Beyonce! WTHECK?! I love that song, but COME ON! Right after worship?!--During worship?! It happened within the drop of a dime. So I say to be cautious when dealing with one of your weak spots. & if you mess up, repent and move on. Don't keep dwelling on it. Conviction is normal after sinning, but don't feel condemned (There is a difference!) In Christ, there is no condemnation (Romans 8:1) Try your best. That's all you can do moment to moment.

STEP FOUR: EAT!- You need to feed your spirit. One of my sisters said something so simple, but I'll never forget it. "The word of God is DAILY bread. You need it everyday! Its like eating a huge Thanksgiving dinner and expecting it to last until January.... You're gonna need to eat again!"- K.Jones. (So I can't take the font change off.. sorry, just go with the flow, okay? lol) We need the word of God to strengthen our frame. A lot of times we make simple mistakes because we neglect to prepare.  When we have the word of God written on the tablets of our hearts, it makes it easier to fight the small battles, which really add up. Don't give the enemy dominion over any area in your life.. no matter how small. And PLEASE if you can't get the whole consistency thing right AT ALL, at least be consistent with this step. Its the most important one. So many ppl are so spiritually malnourished that they are too weak to stand, let alone fight back when the enemy comes. (Post on  The Spiritually Malnourished coming soon!! #Staytuned)

Okay.. This is not it, but as I mentioned I am currently dealing with this issue so I don't have all the answers. I hope you all find at least ONE thing to take away with you from this and I stand in agreement with you ALL, coming against inconsistency. We can and will have consistency in our lives. I hope y'all are ready! #Leggo

Signed, 

Turning Off The Cold Water... 

God bless and don't forget to SHINE!

SNACK TIME!: Philippians 1:27, 2 Peter 1:19, Proverbs 3:3-4, Luke 16:13

MIA Much?!

So I suck at the whole blogging thing right!? I'm getting my life together RIGHT NOW I #promise! Give me a day or so to get my life together and I'm back!

Signed,
Forgive me PLEASE!

Seek Him. Know His Voice. Follow His Plan.

Jesus! I NEVER want to experience this again. I have most DEFINITELY learned from my mistakes. I trust that you can make a way out of no way. It is sooo important to be in His will, TRUST me. So do YOURSELF a favor and stay in it. Don’t steer off and do your own thing because God knows best! Its funny, we make plans and try to live them out but they just DON’T turn out how we thought. Then we say, “Lord, what happened?! I just need You to help me through this.” Then u realize that wasn’t HIS plan for u in the first place! NOW, you’ve went alllllll out of the way and honestly wasted time. His and YOURS lol Hmmm… This right here….. Is most DEFINITELY a #LessonLearned for me. Stay seeking Him people, thats honestly the best thing to do. Get to know His voice, if you don’t already. You don’t want to veer off track. TRUST ME.. Its hecka hard tryna get BACK on track, so if you CAN… save yourself the trip =) Seek Him. Know His voice. Follow His Plan. Its THAT simple. 

Just a thought. :)

Signed,

Where the HECK am I??     Finding my way back

Shine, bright lights! =)

Cha-Ching???

This one will be short this time. ALLL I want to know is… WHYYY is it SOO hard to save money? Even with goals in mind.. I’m having trouble saving! Smh one of these days. I’m gonna get it together SOONER or LATER (hopefully sooner THAN later lol) 

Just a thought!

Signed, 

Im Broke   In between blessings :)

Shine my loves!

(Originally Written April 6, 2011)

I Am.. Big Sister Anointed!

On March 25, 2011 at 10:58pm I became Big Sister Anointed (Acts 10:37-38) of Alpha Omega Co-Ed Christian Fraternity INNNNNNCORPORATED! Tr3 Club to be exact! My Ace is Big Sister Appointed (we rhyme! lol) and my Deuceyyy Deuce is Big Sister Identity! Together, we make up the 3 Daughters of Virtue. I hope yall are ready! We’re getting ready to take this campus and everything else we touch by storm!! We are appointed and anointed to help change! & its allllll because we know our identity in Christ lol So this is the next chapter of my life and I am VERY excited about it! Its Kingdom business FIRST! Christ is my LIFE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOO!
(originally Written March 25, 2011)

Sometimes.. I'm my OWN worst enemy!

Sometimes, I think I’m my own worst enemy! Ugh! In a few areas. I even let complacency sneak in (Ugh! doesn’t that suck?!)! That makes things so much harder. This is where I am right now… I’ve found myself… too COMFORTABLE. Now I know you’re probably thinking, “What’s wrong with being comfortable?” right? Well, let me explain. There’s nothing wrong with being comfortable AT ALL! But when you actually take a second and ANALYZE where you are in your life, like I just did, sometimes you come across some riiidiculous stuff! Like how could something (lets say bad habits) that USED to drive you crazy, all of a sudden become a norm? What made those things become acceptable in your life? and WHEN?? These are just some of the questions I’m asking myself right now. And since asking myself these questions, I’ve realized… I have a few weeds in my garden, choking the LIFE out of the good trees in my life. I keep picking these weeds up, but just at the surface. All the while, the roots are growing stronger and stronger beneath the surface, choking the roots of my good trees….. which means they are tainting other areas of my life…. which lead me to realize, I’m losing control. I’ve let FLESH eat away at all of my good fruit. Call me overly spiritual if that makes you feel more comfortable about the mess in your life (because we ALL have some mess, even if it’s just a little) but its truth (& I don’t mean to judge, but I know SOMEONE was thinking it and just wanted to add that =) its all in love). But, I don’t believe in giving pity parties soooo do you know what this means?? It means its time to do some damage! I’m in the process of uprooting! like FOR REAL for real! I see my short comings and I’m choosing to do something about them. Not by myself though, thats where I’ve BEEN messing up. I’m gonna let my Daddy help me with this one. =) So I’ll be praying about WHAT the root of the problem is and HOW to uproot it. be looking out for my finished results! =)

-Signed, 

Under Construstion

Just a thought! I hope this has helped someone! If this sparked any questions, PLEASE, feel free to ask! I hope you all have a FANTASTIC day! Don’t forget to let that light SHINE! For His glory. (Originally Written on March 13, 2011) 

Love Like Christ!

I am sooo glad God is not like man! WHEW! I just have to ask, why is it SO hard to love like Christ? He love us unconditionally ( without limits or [obviously] conditions) but we can't even do the same to some friends/family members. Oh, I know, I know, I'm guilty of it too and I think that's why I'm asking. When people wrong us we're quick to "cut them off" but.. excuse me for asking, but....what if Christ did that to us??? I KNOW I would be S.O.L! lol I've wronged him countless times, yet His mercy and grace covered where I fell short. SMH! Find me THREE people who come CLOSE to Him in that area and, well.... You would have found three people who come close lol (What?? did you think I was going to say I was going to GIVE you something? haaa, sorry 'bout that!) But I want to charge you all (This is a charge to myself as welll) to love like Jesus did. What exactly IS love you ask? Im SO glad you asked! 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 gives a GREAT (and the TRUE) definition (Just Google it if you don't have a bible on hand). If we all chose to make an effort to walk in love, then those changes we often dream about WILL soon become tangible. Don't believe me... TRY IT.. I DARE YOU! ;)
-And now these three remain: Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is Love (1Corth. 13:13)
Just a thought. Have a BLESSED day my loves and don't forget to let that BRIGHT LIGHT SHINE =) (Originally written on March 11, 2011)