Learning To Be Submissive...

Ever spent time worry about something you had no business worrying about? I mean WORRYING! Crying about, thinking about.. even dreaming about? I'm sure you have. That's the place I'm just leaving. This certain issue was so different than any other though. I'd never worried about anything as much as this particular issue ever before. I let it consume all my thought life and time. It was to the point I was (I'm going to say it) semi- depressed. I couldn't even pray myself out of it. I wasn't eating (spiritually) and seldom found time to pray. And when I was praying, it was for the wrong things. Ultimately, I had to come home (back to Detroit) for the summer and was MADDDD about it! I mean I was a BRAT about the whole thing. "What about Church?!" (was in ministry) "What about my CD?!" (I was just getting ready to begin work on my debut album) "What about this--What about that?!" I just would not let go. I was so caught up in the whole idea of "missing out" on something... when ironically, that's what I was doing... Missing out on what God was trying to do. I was in a place of transition. God was trying to move me to a new place, but I liked how the old place looked and how comfortable I had become. I'd become complacent. Not realizing that the next place He had lined up for me would give me everything I'd been missing and asking for... A FRESH START. I kept expecting the worst to come from this transition, yet I've only been seeing the great. Now, I can't lie and say its all been butterflies and rainbows, because it hasn't. I've been experiencing new challenges, but nothing Him and I can't handle together. However, I do know that its all going to be for my good. 

Again, its funny how when your in a situation and you pray about it, sometimes even your prayers become a little biased. For instance, while dealing with whole situation, I kept speaking, "All things work together for the good--- ect" (You know the rest. If not, go read it in Romans 8) but I wasn't looking at it from every angle. Its very important to pray (In the spirit.. especially if you were as weak as I was and didn't even know where to start) and remove your self from the situation and analyze it from every angle. This move was the fresh start I'd been praying for but was too spiritually numb to realize it. One thing I realized about myself after this whole situation is that I often let my emotions get the best of me. I get so caught up in it, that level headedness goes out of the window and I act off how I feel. Its even in my speech, "I just FEEL like this is where I need to be...I just FEEL like I've already built such a life here, that to go back would be regressive on my part" Ummm Paige (and whoever else is reading this) sorry to say, but GOD IS NOT A FEELING. I am so glad God gave me insight on the whole situation. Now I know where I made all my mistakes. I am excited, not anxious, to do things right the next time (which ultimately, is now). 

This blog is unlike any other I've written because I didn't know where it was going to go. I want to end on this. God knows whats best. Ever since I've been back home, so much has just been falling into my lap. I got a new car, ministry opportunities, been doing better in college this semester than any other thus far and I'm going on my senior year. This is just the tip of it. I've only been home for three weeks, Imagine what He can do with the rest of my summer. (Also, want to make clear that I am in no way bragging. Just trying to share some of the blessings he had aligned for me when I finally submitted to Him). Again, I can't lie and say everything is perfect, because its still far from it. However, the progress my life has been making is matchless to any other experience. He is now pulling other things out of me, which doesn't always feel good, but remember, its not all about your emotions. I'm learning a HECK of a lot about submission and what it means to be submissive (He MUST be getting me ready for my MOG! Hallelujah! smh lol---anyway) This process has been so strenuous but I know it will be worth it and it will work out for my good. God will get the glory. I'm telling yall... If there is ANYTHING I want to give to God, it is the GLORY. He's brought me through so much already, that I'd be a fool not too. Its not by my own will that I am who I am and have what I have, but all the glory belongs to God. My only hope is that He sees my heart, which only wants to please Him. --- I think I'm done, but might add more later.

God bless you ALL! Love you and don't forget to let His light SHINE, in everything you do. Don't conform, stand out.. He deserves THAT much.

Signed,

Learning to be submissive 

SNACK TIME! Jeremiah 29:11 (He got chu boo! Let Him do His job!) James 4:7 (if you submit 100% to God.. to leaves no room for the devil to occupy)