Stick With It!

So, I should be leaving out on my way to class right now, but before I do, I just had to say this....

(Y'all already know how I blog.. I don't know where this is going, but I'm letting God move ;)

Where is the Sticktoitiveness?? I've noticed that in almost everything I do, I start off really well! I go through this whole preparation process, but when it's time to actually go through with it... I bail out. Not on purpose, it just happens. I'll be on my way out the door headed to class (not like right now though lol this is different.. I'm early) and then as I'm turning the fricken knob.. I'll just stop, but my bag down, and do something else. Or  I'll get this great vision from God about something , let's take this blog for example, start it off strong... and then slowly... DEGENERATION.

If you haven't already noticed, I like to separate myself from my problems and just examine them from every angle. After examining THIS certain situation, I discovered that its a mind issue for me. I could pray all day long, "Lord, I just need you to help me to do better in this" or "Lord help me to be better at that" but at the end of the day, if I don't renew my mind, I'll be in a new test with the same mindset. (& note I said NEW test, not DIFFERENT. We'll talk more about this later). Its just like failing a quiz at school because you neglected to study. You go to your professor and tell them the truth, they have mercy on you and give you another shot, but instead of studying.. you don't.. AGAIN... and thus, you fail...AGAIN. What sense does that make?

So I've been given instruction to eat (the word) more. Pretty simple right? Then, why is it so doggone hard? WE MAKE IT HARD. You see, the mind plays a very important role in decision making, but of course that's obvious and you already knew that, right? Then why is it one of the last things we tend to give over to God? The enemy knows that if he has our mind, then he essentially has control. Our mind, along with our will and emotions, is part of our soul. When a thought enters our mind, a lot of times, we connect emotions to it and then finally, we act it out. For example... |  Let's say I'm watching t.v. late at night. A commercial comes on about ice cream (Because they always show "ICE CREAM" commercials at 2am...  -____- ). Now I'm not hungry, but because I saw the commercial, ice cream is on my mind. I now all of a sudden have a strong desire for some ice cream. I have some in the freezer, but its just too late to be eating, let alone something as sweet as ice cream. I convince myself that its too late, and I'll just continue watching t.v. ...Ten minutes pass by and I STILL have ice cream on the brain! Since I can barely find a good enough reason why I shouldn't eat the ice cream...I cave and go get some.|  *Let's take a second to analyze this before I move on. First of all, why am I up at 2am watching t.v. anyway?! The only commercials on at 2am are "ice cream" commercials. Secondly, As soon as that thought entered my head, I should have immediately combated it with the word. It would not have even gotten as far as triggering an emotional response, let alone affecting my will! But if I don't study, meditate on and internalize the word, I won't have anything to fight back with, therefore making myself susceptible to the nonsense in my immature and underdeveloped mind. |Dear folly.. #BAGBACK!| This doesn't just happen with sex, (if you have yet to realize that the word "ice cream" was standing in for the word sex, well then... now you know lol) it happens with a lot of different things. It's important to understand that the enemy stays on watch, trying to see which area is easiest to attack us in. It only makes sense for us to be prepared. All we have to do is show up to battle.. we've already won. But if you fail to show up, then we give him the victory by default. #NowWhyYouWannaGoAndDoThat?!*




**Ps.. y'all know I'm #TeamVirgin That "Ice Cream" would be REAL LIFE ice cream in my case! lmbo! God ain't too fond of gluttony. We like to forget about that.. **


One of my most recent prayers has been that God help me to be spirit- led in everything I do, instead of soul- led (remember the soul is our MIND, WILL, and EMOTIONS). It's so easy to just "go through" life, a lot of times, it even seems mechanical and robot-esque. Then, when something happens that we feel may be unpleasing to God, we're automatically "awaken" and sorry. "Lord I don't even know how this happened! Please forgive me. Help me to handle this situation differently next time" (smh I said this to God just last week as a matter of fact!) There's nothing wrong with that plea, but we get ourselves in certain situations that could have been avoided altogether if we would have just been a bit more spiritually sensitive. I've noticed this happening in my life quite often, granted those situations haven't come close to causing astronomical havoc; I still want to be more spiritually cognizant. So before I make any decision, no matter how big or small, I've been consulting God (This is after using discernment by the way.. You don't even need to seek God on some stuff, just use common sense!) Also, before I make certain decisions or even do certain things, I've been asking myself, "Would God find this pleasing or displeasing?"-- That helps A LOT!

So which brings me back to what I first mentioned above. Sticktoitiveness... or should I say the lack there of. I never used to be the type to give up, but it's been such a challenge recently. In almost everything! I know it's only because I'm getting closer and closer to my destiny though.... but still! smh! I've talked to God about this and I know it is displeasing to Him. He wants me to finish the work he puts before me, just like I'm trusting in Him to finish the work He's started in me. However, in the middle of my tasks, something always becomes of greater interest. #Distractions. I am guilty of letting distractions come in between me and my work sometimes. I am working on it though, and I have been seeing a shift... except in one area, which I'll blog about at a different time ;) But I went to God with that issue and that's where I received the instruction of spending more time in the word. I just received it about 20 minutes ago, so I haven't seen any results yet lol But I can guarantee there will be results! If it's a God given instruction, why wouldn't you see results? Remember, His plans for us are plans of hope and are to prosper us. =] (Jeremiah 29:11) He knows what's best and WANTS what's best for us. Ask Him for insight and instruction AND OBEY and you can't go wrong. (You should make some time to read Deuteronomy 11. If you can't make time to read the whole thing, be sure to read Verse 13-15)

*almost done*

I almost forgot to revisit the "New test vs Different test" matter. As far as ME and MY LIFE is concerned.. I was so tired of going through the same thing over and over again! So tired that I just quit trying. Little did I know that quitting would only make things worse. I kept going through the same thing over and over because I was  am being tested. The only way to move forward and mature is to pass the test. So when I gave the example in the very beginning about the tests, this is what I meant. Let's use the same example as before.....|  The test that the professor let you retake would not be a test on a completely different chapter. If the quiz you failed was on chapter 2, your professor would not give you material from chapters 4, 5, or 6 on the quiz. Sure, they may change the structure of the quiz and swap a few questions around, but changing the substance of the quiz would not be healthy for your grade or growth in the class. It's the same way with life. When we fail to pass a test, we can't move on to the next until we've passed the one before us. Not only would we be unprepared for the next test, but we would be immature and frail. God doesn't want that. He wants us to be nice and fat (full of the word.. #duh lol) and mature. One more quick and classic example. You're baby is eating baby food for the first time. Would you give your baby with one little tooth pieces of steak because they didn't like the way mashed peas taste? Ummm, didn't think so! That poor baby could choke! Not only that, but a stomach that's used to milk wouldn't be able to process and digest a piece of meat like that so soon. | *Okay, chile.. hurry up. What are you trying to say?!* *Moral of the story.. You have to go through the process. The process is sooo necessary. Don't rush through it. The test is to make you stronger and will help to prepare you for what He has in store next. Seek God every step of the way and obey His instruction and you can't go wrong. It's THAT simple. :)*

Signed,
Sticking to it ;)

#whew! Okay... I MIGHT be done..hol' on let me check.....

(15 mins of rough revising later)
Yup, all done =)

Thanks for reading! Comments are appreciated.

Who am I?

So its in the middle of the day, and I'm blogging... which is super uncommon for me. (Yall know I normally blog 3am and later lol) But I'm sitting here, getting ready to start my day and I realized... I really suck right now. Have you ever examined your life and just did not like what you saw? Not physically, but yourself over all. I look in the mirror sometimes and don't even recognize myself. I've acquired some characteristics that I just can't stand. I'm only 21 and have made a huge mess. Its hard to admit, but I have to be honest with myself, and I hope this helps someone else to be honest with themselves as well.. same situation or not. ( WHEW! HUGE run on sentence lol) They say the truth hurts and babyyyyy, they aint NEVER lied 'cause I am hur-ting! Its hard to look at all of the mistakes you've made and not want to cry. I realize that my pride has been a huge hindrance in me dealing with my issues. Afraid of how people (mainly those closest to me) would view me if they knew the truth. But I am no where near perfect and would hate to deceive anyone. Paige got issues... just like everybody else! However, the season I'm in now is forcing me to handle my issues. I couldn't understand why I was here so long, but now, I know that this is why. ---

I'm stepping down off my pedestal and realizing that I messed up... bad! However, God is still greater than any mess I get myself into. I choose to lift Him up, and not my problems. I will magnify His name, and not how much I suck. I will speak life into this situation and I will watch Him turn it around.


No more lying, no more laziness, no more being stagnant, no more living by my own will, no more letting my flesh run my life. I am a Kingdom citizen... a child of God, just here on earth for a lil' while =) ... In the world, but not of it. THIS is who I'll see when I look in the mirror from now on =) ..Someone who doesn't take any more of Satan crap. He's under me and already defeated. I know who I am... I am ROYALTY

I know that the best is yet to come. I don't know is how, but I trust God. There is obviously still purpose for my life if I'm still here. The same goes for you. I know I am so unworthy of all that He does, but as long as I'm here, I will bless Him. Whether favor stops now, whether blessings stopped yesterday, and whether he never does ANOTHER thing for me. He's already done more than enough.  He has been EVERYTHING I've needed Him to be.. and SO much more. Its pretty amazing,.. HE's pretty amazing. (#Sigh... and the tears start again).

So.. lol I think I'm done.. ??? We'll see, y'all know how THIS goes.. might add more later, might not. I know one thing.. It WILL be spirit led. =) Love y'all!

Signed,

PAIGE NICOLETTE WRIGHT =) nothing more, nothing less.. just me ♥






*After the truth stops hurting... its feels AMAZING! Kind of like a scab healing* ♥

I was just thinking...

Regretting gets you nowhere, while learning to make the most of your current situation is a beautiful new beginning. =) Even though you may not like where you are now, you have to trust that things WILL get better. Ask God how to move forward from where you are now, instead of trying to change things that have already come and gone. Before you know it... today will be yesterday. So let's make you  proud of you. =) The best is yet to come and I'm excited! #MirrorTalk =) 

Signed, 

Embracing my now, in order to get to my next. 

Pulling up the root...

So remember in my "Sometimes, I'm My Own Worst Enemy" post I talked about analyzing your situation and pulling up the issues from the root... well.. I'VE FOUND ONE! I'm currently trying to go a little deeper to make sure I've gotten it all, but I will definitely blog about this later.. and its gonna be good. #trustme You DON'T wanna miss it! ;)

Until next time,
Going Through My Garden

Learning To Be Submissive...

Ever spent time worry about something you had no business worrying about? I mean WORRYING! Crying about, thinking about.. even dreaming about? I'm sure you have. That's the place I'm just leaving. This certain issue was so different than any other though. I'd never worried about anything as much as this particular issue ever before. I let it consume all my thought life and time. It was to the point I was (I'm going to say it) semi- depressed. I couldn't even pray myself out of it. I wasn't eating (spiritually) and seldom found time to pray. And when I was praying, it was for the wrong things. Ultimately, I had to come home (back to Detroit) for the summer and was MADDDD about it! I mean I was a BRAT about the whole thing. "What about Church?!" (was in ministry) "What about my CD?!" (I was just getting ready to begin work on my debut album) "What about this--What about that?!" I just would not let go. I was so caught up in the whole idea of "missing out" on something... when ironically, that's what I was doing... Missing out on what God was trying to do. I was in a place of transition. God was trying to move me to a new place, but I liked how the old place looked and how comfortable I had become. I'd become complacent. Not realizing that the next place He had lined up for me would give me everything I'd been missing and asking for... A FRESH START. I kept expecting the worst to come from this transition, yet I've only been seeing the great. Now, I can't lie and say its all been butterflies and rainbows, because it hasn't. I've been experiencing new challenges, but nothing Him and I can't handle together. However, I do know that its all going to be for my good. 

Again, its funny how when your in a situation and you pray about it, sometimes even your prayers become a little biased. For instance, while dealing with whole situation, I kept speaking, "All things work together for the good--- ect" (You know the rest. If not, go read it in Romans 8) but I wasn't looking at it from every angle. Its very important to pray (In the spirit.. especially if you were as weak as I was and didn't even know where to start) and remove your self from the situation and analyze it from every angle. This move was the fresh start I'd been praying for but was too spiritually numb to realize it. One thing I realized about myself after this whole situation is that I often let my emotions get the best of me. I get so caught up in it, that level headedness goes out of the window and I act off how I feel. Its even in my speech, "I just FEEL like this is where I need to be...I just FEEL like I've already built such a life here, that to go back would be regressive on my part" Ummm Paige (and whoever else is reading this) sorry to say, but GOD IS NOT A FEELING. I am so glad God gave me insight on the whole situation. Now I know where I made all my mistakes. I am excited, not anxious, to do things right the next time (which ultimately, is now). 

This blog is unlike any other I've written because I didn't know where it was going to go. I want to end on this. God knows whats best. Ever since I've been back home, so much has just been falling into my lap. I got a new car, ministry opportunities, been doing better in college this semester than any other thus far and I'm going on my senior year. This is just the tip of it. I've only been home for three weeks, Imagine what He can do with the rest of my summer. (Also, want to make clear that I am in no way bragging. Just trying to share some of the blessings he had aligned for me when I finally submitted to Him). Again, I can't lie and say everything is perfect, because its still far from it. However, the progress my life has been making is matchless to any other experience. He is now pulling other things out of me, which doesn't always feel good, but remember, its not all about your emotions. I'm learning a HECK of a lot about submission and what it means to be submissive (He MUST be getting me ready for my MOG! Hallelujah! smh lol---anyway) This process has been so strenuous but I know it will be worth it and it will work out for my good. God will get the glory. I'm telling yall... If there is ANYTHING I want to give to God, it is the GLORY. He's brought me through so much already, that I'd be a fool not too. Its not by my own will that I am who I am and have what I have, but all the glory belongs to God. My only hope is that He sees my heart, which only wants to please Him. --- I think I'm done, but might add more later.

God bless you ALL! Love you and don't forget to let His light SHINE, in everything you do. Don't conform, stand out.. He deserves THAT much.

Signed,

Learning to be submissive 

SNACK TIME! Jeremiah 29:11 (He got chu boo! Let Him do His job!) James 4:7 (if you submit 100% to God.. to leaves no room for the devil to occupy) 

CONSISTENCY!.. Where ARE you???

Hello my Bright Lights! I hope all is well. I am here to touch on an issue that I didn't even acknowledge as an issue until... ehhh, about 4am last night. CONSISTENCY. **Jumping right into it** I don't even know when the wishy-washiness (in lack of better terms) crept in, but boyyyy did he take ROOT! I mean alll over, too! Starting with the thoughts then trickling down into my words and actions. I refuse to let it stay another day though. THATS FOR SURE. Okay, let me back up a little..... 

I don't know WHAT triggered the reflective mode I was in (actually, I do but would much rather save it for another date and time lol) but I sure as heck did not want to stop once it'd started. I was just thinking about my life in general and saw a lot of areas that were going in circles. From financially stable......to financial instability. From walking in deliverance......to getting lost outside of deliverance. From controlled emotions..... to emotionally cute.. you know, when its all held together nicely on the outside, but on the inside theres an typhoon of emotions driving you INSANE! Yep.. been there and still doing it all. When will it end?? I'll tell you when.. *Looks at Calender* It ends RIGHT NOW. June 3, 2011. I will no longer allow Luke (AKA, lukewarm-ness lol) to make his self comfortable in my personal space. Connie (AKA, Consistency lol) has taken his place and will be me and him from here on out. HOW? I'm so glad you asked that. Honestly, I'm not 100% sure how. But one thing I DO know is what NOT to do. If I'm struggling financially, I will tithe, sow and save BEFORE I go shopping. If I'm struggling with *searches for something random* fornication (which I'm not #TeamVirgin #TeamINeedARingBeforeWeDoThatThing) then I know not to be alone with Jimmy after 9pm. Get my drift?? 

****ACTION****Faith without works is dead, SO! Write this down. 

STEP ONE: Learn from your mistakes.- Critically analyze your situation/ area of inconsistency and think of (and when I say think of, I mean pray, ask and LISTEN lol) ways to combat those inconsistent traits. For example: *searches for another random issue* If my inconsistency is in my emotions then I'll ask God how how to become more emotionally stable. Simple? I Know! lol He might (don't put Him in a box! He'll tear that boy RIGHT UP!) lead you to a scripture or just straight up tell you what you need to do. You have to make time to listen though. Think about this.. Would you ask your mother for some cookies then walk away before she answers? NO, right?! Because you want those cookies lol Don't do that with God. When you come to Him with a request, make time to hear what He has to say in return.

STEP TWO: Make a conscious effort to live out those directions God gave you.- If He suggested (Ha... suggest.. God?? More like a command, right? lol anyway..) that you journal to help with those shaky emotions, then OMG! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! Take out that notebook/journal and WRITE! (Tadaaaa! This blog was actually an instruction by Him. ^__^ I'll tell you why in another post.. #staytuned) When you feel like killing your brother... write down how you feel and pray for peace and whatever else you might need. 

STEP THREE: One moment at a time.- One thing I've learned about MY inconsistency is it flips super fast! Lets take music for instance. A couple of hours ago, I had the house to myself and during those times, I always worship. So I'm singing "You are Awesome in this Place".. Next thing I know, I'm singing "Kissing You/So In Love" by Beyonce! WTHECK?! I love that song, but COME ON! Right after worship?!--During worship?! It happened within the drop of a dime. So I say to be cautious when dealing with one of your weak spots. & if you mess up, repent and move on. Don't keep dwelling on it. Conviction is normal after sinning, but don't feel condemned (There is a difference!) In Christ, there is no condemnation (Romans 8:1) Try your best. That's all you can do moment to moment.

STEP FOUR: EAT!- You need to feed your spirit. One of my sisters said something so simple, but I'll never forget it. "The word of God is DAILY bread. You need it everyday! Its like eating a huge Thanksgiving dinner and expecting it to last until January.... You're gonna need to eat again!"- K.Jones. (So I can't take the font change off.. sorry, just go with the flow, okay? lol) We need the word of God to strengthen our frame. A lot of times we make simple mistakes because we neglect to prepare.  When we have the word of God written on the tablets of our hearts, it makes it easier to fight the small battles, which really add up. Don't give the enemy dominion over any area in your life.. no matter how small. And PLEASE if you can't get the whole consistency thing right AT ALL, at least be consistent with this step. Its the most important one. So many ppl are so spiritually malnourished that they are too weak to stand, let alone fight back when the enemy comes. (Post on  The Spiritually Malnourished coming soon!! #Staytuned)

Okay.. This is not it, but as I mentioned I am currently dealing with this issue so I don't have all the answers. I hope you all find at least ONE thing to take away with you from this and I stand in agreement with you ALL, coming against inconsistency. We can and will have consistency in our lives. I hope y'all are ready! #Leggo

Signed, 

Turning Off The Cold Water... 

God bless and don't forget to SHINE!

SNACK TIME!: Philippians 1:27, 2 Peter 1:19, Proverbs 3:3-4, Luke 16:13

MIA Much?!

So I suck at the whole blogging thing right!? I'm getting my life together RIGHT NOW I #promise! Give me a day or so to get my life together and I'm back!

Signed,
Forgive me PLEASE!