Pulling up the root...

So remember in my "Sometimes, I'm My Own Worst Enemy" post I talked about analyzing your situation and pulling up the issues from the root... well.. I'VE FOUND ONE! I'm currently trying to go a little deeper to make sure I've gotten it all, but I will definitely blog about this later.. and its gonna be good. #trustme You DON'T wanna miss it! ;)

Until next time,
Going Through My Garden

Learning To Be Submissive...

Ever spent time worry about something you had no business worrying about? I mean WORRYING! Crying about, thinking about.. even dreaming about? I'm sure you have. That's the place I'm just leaving. This certain issue was so different than any other though. I'd never worried about anything as much as this particular issue ever before. I let it consume all my thought life and time. It was to the point I was (I'm going to say it) semi- depressed. I couldn't even pray myself out of it. I wasn't eating (spiritually) and seldom found time to pray. And when I was praying, it was for the wrong things. Ultimately, I had to come home (back to Detroit) for the summer and was MADDDD about it! I mean I was a BRAT about the whole thing. "What about Church?!" (was in ministry) "What about my CD?!" (I was just getting ready to begin work on my debut album) "What about this--What about that?!" I just would not let go. I was so caught up in the whole idea of "missing out" on something... when ironically, that's what I was doing... Missing out on what God was trying to do. I was in a place of transition. God was trying to move me to a new place, but I liked how the old place looked and how comfortable I had become. I'd become complacent. Not realizing that the next place He had lined up for me would give me everything I'd been missing and asking for... A FRESH START. I kept expecting the worst to come from this transition, yet I've only been seeing the great. Now, I can't lie and say its all been butterflies and rainbows, because it hasn't. I've been experiencing new challenges, but nothing Him and I can't handle together. However, I do know that its all going to be for my good. 

Again, its funny how when your in a situation and you pray about it, sometimes even your prayers become a little biased. For instance, while dealing with whole situation, I kept speaking, "All things work together for the good--- ect" (You know the rest. If not, go read it in Romans 8) but I wasn't looking at it from every angle. Its very important to pray (In the spirit.. especially if you were as weak as I was and didn't even know where to start) and remove your self from the situation and analyze it from every angle. This move was the fresh start I'd been praying for but was too spiritually numb to realize it. One thing I realized about myself after this whole situation is that I often let my emotions get the best of me. I get so caught up in it, that level headedness goes out of the window and I act off how I feel. Its even in my speech, "I just FEEL like this is where I need to be...I just FEEL like I've already built such a life here, that to go back would be regressive on my part" Ummm Paige (and whoever else is reading this) sorry to say, but GOD IS NOT A FEELING. I am so glad God gave me insight on the whole situation. Now I know where I made all my mistakes. I am excited, not anxious, to do things right the next time (which ultimately, is now). 

This blog is unlike any other I've written because I didn't know where it was going to go. I want to end on this. God knows whats best. Ever since I've been back home, so much has just been falling into my lap. I got a new car, ministry opportunities, been doing better in college this semester than any other thus far and I'm going on my senior year. This is just the tip of it. I've only been home for three weeks, Imagine what He can do with the rest of my summer. (Also, want to make clear that I am in no way bragging. Just trying to share some of the blessings he had aligned for me when I finally submitted to Him). Again, I can't lie and say everything is perfect, because its still far from it. However, the progress my life has been making is matchless to any other experience. He is now pulling other things out of me, which doesn't always feel good, but remember, its not all about your emotions. I'm learning a HECK of a lot about submission and what it means to be submissive (He MUST be getting me ready for my MOG! Hallelujah! smh lol---anyway) This process has been so strenuous but I know it will be worth it and it will work out for my good. God will get the glory. I'm telling yall... If there is ANYTHING I want to give to God, it is the GLORY. He's brought me through so much already, that I'd be a fool not too. Its not by my own will that I am who I am and have what I have, but all the glory belongs to God. My only hope is that He sees my heart, which only wants to please Him. --- I think I'm done, but might add more later.

God bless you ALL! Love you and don't forget to let His light SHINE, in everything you do. Don't conform, stand out.. He deserves THAT much.

Signed,

Learning to be submissive 

SNACK TIME! Jeremiah 29:11 (He got chu boo! Let Him do His job!) James 4:7 (if you submit 100% to God.. to leaves no room for the devil to occupy) 

CONSISTENCY!.. Where ARE you???

Hello my Bright Lights! I hope all is well. I am here to touch on an issue that I didn't even acknowledge as an issue until... ehhh, about 4am last night. CONSISTENCY. **Jumping right into it** I don't even know when the wishy-washiness (in lack of better terms) crept in, but boyyyy did he take ROOT! I mean alll over, too! Starting with the thoughts then trickling down into my words and actions. I refuse to let it stay another day though. THATS FOR SURE. Okay, let me back up a little..... 

I don't know WHAT triggered the reflective mode I was in (actually, I do but would much rather save it for another date and time lol) but I sure as heck did not want to stop once it'd started. I was just thinking about my life in general and saw a lot of areas that were going in circles. From financially stable......to financial instability. From walking in deliverance......to getting lost outside of deliverance. From controlled emotions..... to emotionally cute.. you know, when its all held together nicely on the outside, but on the inside theres an typhoon of emotions driving you INSANE! Yep.. been there and still doing it all. When will it end?? I'll tell you when.. *Looks at Calender* It ends RIGHT NOW. June 3, 2011. I will no longer allow Luke (AKA, lukewarm-ness lol) to make his self comfortable in my personal space. Connie (AKA, Consistency lol) has taken his place and will be me and him from here on out. HOW? I'm so glad you asked that. Honestly, I'm not 100% sure how. But one thing I DO know is what NOT to do. If I'm struggling financially, I will tithe, sow and save BEFORE I go shopping. If I'm struggling with *searches for something random* fornication (which I'm not #TeamVirgin #TeamINeedARingBeforeWeDoThatThing) then I know not to be alone with Jimmy after 9pm. Get my drift?? 

****ACTION****Faith without works is dead, SO! Write this down. 

STEP ONE: Learn from your mistakes.- Critically analyze your situation/ area of inconsistency and think of (and when I say think of, I mean pray, ask and LISTEN lol) ways to combat those inconsistent traits. For example: *searches for another random issue* If my inconsistency is in my emotions then I'll ask God how how to become more emotionally stable. Simple? I Know! lol He might (don't put Him in a box! He'll tear that boy RIGHT UP!) lead you to a scripture or just straight up tell you what you need to do. You have to make time to listen though. Think about this.. Would you ask your mother for some cookies then walk away before she answers? NO, right?! Because you want those cookies lol Don't do that with God. When you come to Him with a request, make time to hear what He has to say in return.

STEP TWO: Make a conscious effort to live out those directions God gave you.- If He suggested (Ha... suggest.. God?? More like a command, right? lol anyway..) that you journal to help with those shaky emotions, then OMG! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! Take out that notebook/journal and WRITE! (Tadaaaa! This blog was actually an instruction by Him. ^__^ I'll tell you why in another post.. #staytuned) When you feel like killing your brother... write down how you feel and pray for peace and whatever else you might need. 

STEP THREE: One moment at a time.- One thing I've learned about MY inconsistency is it flips super fast! Lets take music for instance. A couple of hours ago, I had the house to myself and during those times, I always worship. So I'm singing "You are Awesome in this Place".. Next thing I know, I'm singing "Kissing You/So In Love" by Beyonce! WTHECK?! I love that song, but COME ON! Right after worship?!--During worship?! It happened within the drop of a dime. So I say to be cautious when dealing with one of your weak spots. & if you mess up, repent and move on. Don't keep dwelling on it. Conviction is normal after sinning, but don't feel condemned (There is a difference!) In Christ, there is no condemnation (Romans 8:1) Try your best. That's all you can do moment to moment.

STEP FOUR: EAT!- You need to feed your spirit. One of my sisters said something so simple, but I'll never forget it. "The word of God is DAILY bread. You need it everyday! Its like eating a huge Thanksgiving dinner and expecting it to last until January.... You're gonna need to eat again!"- K.Jones. (So I can't take the font change off.. sorry, just go with the flow, okay? lol) We need the word of God to strengthen our frame. A lot of times we make simple mistakes because we neglect to prepare.  When we have the word of God written on the tablets of our hearts, it makes it easier to fight the small battles, which really add up. Don't give the enemy dominion over any area in your life.. no matter how small. And PLEASE if you can't get the whole consistency thing right AT ALL, at least be consistent with this step. Its the most important one. So many ppl are so spiritually malnourished that they are too weak to stand, let alone fight back when the enemy comes. (Post on  The Spiritually Malnourished coming soon!! #Staytuned)

Okay.. This is not it, but as I mentioned I am currently dealing with this issue so I don't have all the answers. I hope you all find at least ONE thing to take away with you from this and I stand in agreement with you ALL, coming against inconsistency. We can and will have consistency in our lives. I hope y'all are ready! #Leggo

Signed, 

Turning Off The Cold Water... 

God bless and don't forget to SHINE!

SNACK TIME!: Philippians 1:27, 2 Peter 1:19, Proverbs 3:3-4, Luke 16:13